I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize