I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
