you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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