It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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