Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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