I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
