Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
