I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
There are leaves in my underwear?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
