My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
