He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
