Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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