I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
