the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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