oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
