you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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