We won't sleep together?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
