So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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