the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
