On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
