Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
