Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
