so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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