This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
