i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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