i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
