so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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