YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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