well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
