Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
im holly from the hills drunk
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
