bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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