come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
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Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
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If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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