How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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