Sponge bath it is.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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