What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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