ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
