So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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