in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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