U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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