I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize