Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
