You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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