Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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