please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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