Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
