Don't you send me to vm
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He felt like a one man threesome
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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