hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
