...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
