my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
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I just found puke in my bra..
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
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I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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