i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
this just has baby written all over it
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
