You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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