im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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