Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
