yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Are we still banned from the library?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
