There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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