Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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