3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize