just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
