I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
